The Bun Life - Bunnies on Strike??

I couldn't believe it, this letter from the bunnies was on my desk this morning. From what it says, they are now on strike I guess, how the hell is that even possible? Well, lets read the letter and see if we can find out what's going on.

Dear Jim, Me and Thumper thought that we could settle things amicably with you, evidently that is not possible. Both of us (who cares about the other 2 bunnies) are fed up with the treatment we have received while remaining in your care, we have no choice but to go on strike until our demands are met, and if you don't comply within 72 hours we will be getting an official divorce from you. I am hoping the rescue will at least let us sleep on the couch for a few nights, or under the couch would be better :) You have violated our bunny rights and our personal space in the following horrendous ways, we demand that you cease and desist all of the following behavior: You have picked me up on multiple occasions to hug me and pet me, even after my constant efforts to dodge this behavior, you still persisted. This is unacceptable, don't you know that we hate to be picked up? We have night terrors about being picked up for hours on end, also we have ones where our teeth fall out or we go to school naked, but that is irrelevant. On at least 3 different days over the last month, you have been up to 15 minutes late with our morning pellets. We have a routine Jim, can't you respect that? You have been cheating on us. Don't try and deny it, we smell the rescue bunnies on your pant legs sometimes. How dare you clean the litterbox of another woman, I mean female bunny? You and Fuzzy have been smoking pot, DON'T DENY IT! I see you sitting with her while both of you take bong hits from that motorized bong. Why do you guys call it "The Nebulizer" anyway? The couch is terribly low on stuffing, where the hell did it go anyway?? Clipping my nails, I can't believe you did this to me. Do I clip your nails? No. Do I run up and pick you up and call you idiotic names like Baby Jim, or Jimesca, or Mrs. Jim Jim???? No. So don't do it to me, or us rather. You constantly make fun of my bionic ears, and comment on my weight, and EVEN sometimes how UGLY I am!! Who are you, Fabio?? Let me tell you, if I was a human and I looked like you, I would still hide under the couch all day! I can't help it if my ears have a mind of their own, and my weight has always fluctuated, ever since I went on that Shit-Fast protein shake diet. Man, that was rough. You always insist on placing a fence around the TV, this is very annoying, we have been dying to get back there and chew all the wires, so you need to remove this at once. Your lucky I fell asleep on the cable box or else I would have decimated your home theater experience.  This just scratches the surface, Thumper had a few things he wanted to add but who cares about his minor grievances. Like we said, you have 3 days to decide, I have the Bunderground Railroad on standby, so let me know. Regretfully Yours, Fran (and Thumps)

Wow! Frannie sounds upset, I never knew that she could write English so well. I have a lot to think about over the next few days I guess.

The Bun Life - Frannie's Sneaky Surprise

I haven't posted in a bit, been feeling crappy due to my gallbladder, but will likely be having it out soon. Anyway, onto the bunny stuff, who cares about my health crap right? Okay, here is the situation:

I have a playpen that goes around my entire big screen TV and completely seals off the TV area so the bunnies can't get behind it and chew everything up and get electrocuted. The other night I wanted to watch a movie, and I wanted the screen to be unobstructed, so I removed the playpen from around the TV just for the duration of the movie. I have done this before with no issues. Well, during the movie, I fall asleep. When I wake up, I put the recliner down and see the TV is off due to the sleep timer I always set in case I fall asleep.

I go to the bathroom, then to the kitchen to get a drink, and then come to the couch and sit down, eager to watch more TV. I clicked the remote, nothing happens. I hold the remote at different angles in case the beam is hitting the furniture or something, nothing. Hmm. I get two new batteries out of the drawer of the coffee table and replace the ones in the remote control, and try it again. Nothing. What the hell?

As I am trying to figure out what the problem is, I just happen to glance over at the cable box and guess what I see? Frannie!!! Sprawled out, laying down stuffed in the shelf of the entertainment center with her front paw hanging over the remote sensor for the cable box. I was shocked and couldn't believe that she stuffed herself in there. She could have easily got behind the TV and chew every wire in sight. I scooped her up and she was looking at me the whole time as if to say, "What? Something wrong? What is the big deal, I was just laying down in the entertainment center!"

Unreal Fran, unreal. It was so shocking because it was the absolute last thing I expected to see when looking on the shelf at the cabe box. She is something else, I tell you.

The Bun Life - Census Bureau Lady Person Researcher Woman Visit

About a month ago, I got a letter in the mail (where else do you get letters right?) that warned me, okay told me, about a visit I would be getting from a survey person. That person is from some group doing a study on some subject. If I am ultimately chosen, after answering a few basic questions, to participate in the hour long survey, that I would receive thirty bucks cash. Hey shit, who doesn't need thirty bucks cash right? After all, that's like 8 bags of spring mix for the kids (bunnies).

So, I sat in my apartment for a month, waiting with wings for this survey person. She finally made my millenium by knocking on the door and offering me the survey. Okay, I totally had forgotten about it the second I tossed the letter, but what the hell. I grilled her a little bit to make sure it wasn't some scam to get social security numbers for identity theft (yes, people do that) and when I was certain she was legit I let her in. Well, once she saw Frannie hanging out by the TV it was all over, "Ohhhh mmmyyyy, you have BUNNIES???" and then we talked about bunnies for an hour. After that she asked me the basic questions and then her computer told her I was selected to participate in the hour long survey. She was like, "Oh great, I get to come back and see the bunnies again!"

She came back the next day and we did the survey. Only took an hour, and she handed me thirty bucks and a receipt that said so. When she left I saw that the receipt had check boxes to either accept the money or decline the money. I was like YEAH RIGHT, decline free money while crackheads are up at Waldbaums asking me to let them charge my groceries on their welfare card so I can give them cash in return?? Helllll no! You know why they need cash right?? If you don't then you are the one who agreed to do it :) Crack dealers don't take produce in place of Jefferson's. I just thought it was funny how they had that option, even more funny was that the lady never told me about it. That just tells me that she felt the same way I did.

Deny Baby Fwan her 8 bags of spring mix so the crackheads can keep welfare in business?? I think not.

The Bun Life: New Product "Self Bunny Catching Carrier"

Okay, I know what you are saying, "What the hell is a self catching bunny carrier?", right? Well, if that isn't what you're saying then you should be! Thumper, my white giant albino fluffy lop bunny rabbit (how many adjectives?) needed to be brushed the other night. Frannie did too but I brushed her and was done with it. Thumper, on the other hand, was determined to not be picked up and brushed no matter what the cost.

After pointlessly chasing him around the living room for an hour, I decided to get the bunny carrier out. I would place it down on the ground, open the door, and try to herd him into it by chasing him that way. It didn't matter what I did, he wasn't going in the damn carrier. Then, I was paged by work (of course), and I went into the computer room to do some work. I just left the carrier laying on the ground where it was.

After about an hour of working, I walked out to get Thumper a carrot. Only problem was, I couldn't find him. I tipped the couch over and only found Baby Fwan, no Tumps. I started thinking about that game show, "Where In The World Is Carmen Tumpie Rabbits?" Then after about 5 minutes of looking all over, I turned to glance at the carrier and guess who was sitting in the carrier all peaceful with the door closed? Thumper! Okay, I lied about the door being closed part. Lassie he definitely ain't, but caught he definitely was.

I couldn't believe that he didn't run out of the carrier even after seeing me come in the room. I was laughing my tail off. Okay, that was yet another lie, I don't have a tail, but a girl I once dated did. Her prom dress was a nightmare to tailor. Anyway, back to the important thing, the self bunny catching carrier. I am now selling them for $275.00 plus luxury tax (so Fran can live in the lap of luxury), hey they are a great buy, all you have to do to catch the bunny is place it down and walk away for an hour. When you return your bunny will be chilling out in the carrier waiting to be caught (if he has rocks in his head like one white rabbit I know).

The Bun Life - Bunnies and m&m's???

'Twas the night before absolutely nothing and all through the house (apartment), not a creature was stirring (except 2 my two free range bunnies) not even a mouse. The bag of m&m's dangled from my hand with care, not knowing that Thumper would soon be right there. I was scratching and snoring when, from the other side of the living room, arose a clatter. I jumped up from my slumber to see what the hell was the matter. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but my stupid fluffy white bunny rabbit eating a bag of m&m's!!

I was horrified to see Thumper chewing on my bag of regular m&m's. I jumped up and immediately took it away from him. Thankfully there wasn't that many left, I think he ate five or six, maybe even less. I watched both him and Fran closely for the rest of the night, thankfully they are fine. Would you believe it, that little white devil spends his time sniffing the carpet and licking the carpet looking for more m&m's!!

I looked up a bunch of stuff on the web, some good and some bad, mostly I watched him and Fran. Fran was doing wheelies all night while Thumper chased her around the apartment trying to face hump her, business as usual to me. These crazy bunnies, thank god my mistake didn't cost poor Thumps his life. No more candy in that room that's for sure.